#forrealtho

 Darkness all around. I should be frightened but I am comforted. She draws near me now. I can hear her bare feet upon the wet, dark green leaves that litter the ground. The moon is but a sliver of silver in an inky sky, broken apart, as a mosaic, by the tree tops that tower above. The smell of earth surrounds, with a faint hint of lavender, carried on the breeze. The trees sway toward the earth as she approaches. The mighty sentinels bowing to her power, even as they dwarf her in size. Her steps are light; only the faint sound of ruffling leaves beneath her feet betray them. Great physical stature is not needed. As she comes closer, the atmosphere charges, the breeze stills, running streams become as glass. She consumes any space she occupies, even breathing becomes difficult. The only thing that moves are tears. She procures them in abundance. She is closer still. My breath catches. I can see her black shroud, her hood hiding most of her countenance. I ponder how I am so familiar ...

A year. What changes in a year? A smile, a memory, the entire world. Reality. A year can see so much. A looking glass into time. Time past, time forgotten. Like sand through my fingers. Echoes and nothing more. A memory. Denial saves the place. It holds me, a willing captive. Don't ever let me go. Who clings to who? Grief my constant companion. Adding tallies to her book. Scratches in a clay wall. The wall that is patched in many places. A barrier against reality. We hovel together, Grief and I. I leave but she doesn't worry. She knows I always return to her. She is the keeper of my memories. She never loses my treasures. I trust her as she trusts me. Hold me now, my comforter. Envelop me in your presence. In God's arms, enfold us both. Here amongst the ones we have lost.  Although they are but whispers to me. You can hear them. Translate it for me. Her interpretation is always a familiar melody. Everything is clear through the tongue of loss. The ancient language that conn...

I walk through the house. It is empty; cleaned and vacuumed; empty. There is nothing to recognize; nowhere to sit and reminisce about home.  I go to the backyard, where things are still familiar.  There he is, as if there is nothing out of the ordinary.  He talks of friends who passed and how their families handled it, as if I know the names or the stories.  I don't.  I try to commit these names to memory, in the event I need validation. I don't.  I stop caring about the names and just relish the sound of his voice.  I have forgotten its timber.  His hair is thinning some, still brown.  He stands tall in his slacks and double-pocketed shirt.  It's almost as if he's just come from a walk at the duck pond.  He locks eyes with me for a moment.  He knows we share a secret. The sadness melts away. I notice now she's been standing there the whole time; content at his side. It is time for us to part. Until next time, I think. I return...

I talked to my Grandmother on the phone today  Today she knew my name A window was opened to the past I peeked through and felt the warmth of love Smelled the cornbread muffins and beef stew Could hear the TV Up too loud, so Grandpa could hear Today she said my name Said she loved me so much Called me sweet girl Her sweet sweet girl  My Grandmother The seventy-four pound anchor of my life I talked to my Grandmother on the phone today Today I feel complete

So, last night we celebrated our nineteenth wedding anniversary. My loving husband wanted to pamper me so we went out to eat at a fancy restaurant. Now, let me tell you; I'm not fancy. I'm West Texas country. I cant even pronounce the 'i' in oil. So, anyways, I always feel real simple in these places. But I can fake being sophisticated when I need to. (Thanks Grandmother). So the waitress brings complimentary champagne before our meal and I ordered wine, which I honelsty know nothing about. She brings the wine in this little pitcher looking thing and pours a smidgen in my glass for me to taste. I'm like, "it's great," like I have any idea if it is or not. It's not the worst I've ever tried so i qualified it as great. So, one glass of champagne and almost through the wine I'm feeling great. I turn into a genius, actually. Or so I thought. I wanted the salt and couldn't reach it and I pulled the table cloth closer to me to scoot the sa...

The weather in West Texas; it's crazy. Sometimes. Here recently it's been fairly consistent. Dry. But yesterday it rained. For a minute. Let me show you via picture illustration. #rain #thunder #tenminuteslater